5 God’s Disposition Is Righteousness and Even More Love
by Fang Xin
(from Shimenzhai Church in Qinhuangdao Small District, Beijing District)
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| The Church of Almighty God--picture |
Since I accepted God’s work of the last days in 2007, although outwardly I had been busy in performing duty, I hadn’t given my heart to God and had often been overwhelmingly bound by some family affairs. Whenever I thought of my daughter who was already 30 yet hadn’t found a suitable boyfriend, I had complaints against God in my heart; my son just played around and wasted money rather than earned money, and I complained about it; my husband’s foreman didn’t pay him for his work, and I complained about it…. Complaining against heaven and earth, I often misunderstood God, as if God had been too unfair to me. Therefore, I lived in darkness and suffering. But I didn’t know to seek God, and was completely ignorant of the extent of my being in danger; I was only struggling in miseries helplessly. However, God had thorough knowledge of my state, and He called me and saved me in His unique way, so that I awakened from my dream and broke away from Satan’s afflictions.
On August 1, 2012, it rained very heavily. The water in the river rose rapidly and overflowed the bridge, with one wave after another. The situation was very dangerous. After having a meeting with the new believers in the morning, I rode home on my electric scooter. On the way, I needed to go across a bridge. When the front wheel was just on the end of the bridge, I wanted to speed up and rush across it. I didn’t expect that the current would be so great and the waves so high. Together with my scooter, I was swept away by the flood before I could do anything. I just wanted to cry “Almighty God,” but before I could cry out, the water had come into my mouth, and I kept gulping water. At that time, I was clear in my heart and mind, thinking: This is my destination and I’m going to die here. Water kept filling my mouth, and I desperately wanted to cry out to God but I couldn’t do it. Suddenly, my face turned up by chance, and then at the top of my voice I cried out, “Almighty God, save me!” Soon, I felt I was like a leaf and floated to a big tree along with the current. I immediately put my arms around the tree and stood up. Then I was especially excited and couldn’t help praying to God silently, “O God! It is You who have saved me. You don’t dislike me for my being filthy and corrupt. You have picked up my rotten life from the verge of death. I’m willing to offer up thanks and praise to You.”
Then, with my arms around the tree, I looked at the river and saw the scene in surprise. God is so wonderful! The waves were so high, and the current were so strong, but God let the current carry me to the other side of the river, which was about 100 meters away from the bridge. After I calmed my nerves, I waded ashore. Then I wanted to look for my electric scooter in the water, but I couldn’t find it, only to see the black rolling waves surging forward.
When I was back home and lay on the bed, I still had a lingering fear of the scene in the flood. One day, I read these words in the brother’s preaching, “… If you believe in God’s word, you will believe everything comes upon you with God’s permission….” After reading this passage, I was suddenly aware of this: The disaster comes upon me today, which contains God’s good purpose. God’s purpose not only is to save my flesh, letting me experience and taste God’s almighty deeds in the flood, but also is to purify me and transform me through the disaster. In retrospect, I always lived in the state of complaining against God because of my children and husband and opposed God in passivity. If today I had been washed away by the flood, I would have “dropped” everything such as children, husband, and money. In the face of the disaster, aren’t all these worthless? God arouses me through the disaster and hopes that I will commit my family to God and spend more time pursuing the truth wholeheartedly and pursuing to be saved. This is God’s love for me. If the disaster hadn’t come upon me, I wouldn’t have come before God initiatively, much less returned to God. As God’s words say, “When it comes to the state of man’s life, man has yet to find the real life, he still hasn’t seen through to the injustice, desolation, and miserable conditions of the world—and so, were it not for the advent of disaster, most people would still embrace Mother Nature, and would still engross themselves in the flavor of ‘life.’ Is this not the reality of the world? Is this not the voice of salvation that I speak forth to man? Why, among mankind, has no one ever truly loved Me? Why does man love Me only in the midst of chastisement and trials, yet no one loves Me under My protection? I have ‘bestowed’ My chastisement many times upon mankind. They take a look at it, but then they ignore it, and they do not ‘study and contemplate’ it at this time, and so all that comes upon man is merciless judgment. This is only one of My methods of working, but it is still in order to change man and make him love Me.” God’s disposition is righteousness and even more love. No matter what He does, it is salvation to me and He does it just for me to know Him, obey Him, and love Him. Having experienced God’s work and enjoyed God’s grace, I only wish to fulfill my duty as a created being to repay God’s love and satisfy God’s heart, and contribute my share to the spreading of God’s kingdom gospel.
August 15, 2012
Source: A Hundred Questions and Answers on Investigating the True Way
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